Pressing On

February came and went filled with sickness, lambing and the starting up of a business.  I thought we would get back on track in March.  Hmmmmm, it is April 10th, and I find myself continuing to procrastinate.  I know I have fallen off the wagon, again.  It is time to humble myself, seek the Lord's help to get back on track and just start again!  I know I will suffer the consequences of not being consistent, but I also know His mercies are new every morning - great is His faithfulness!   Back to the beginning, start with the beds.  They are not being made.  I refuse to accept the fact it is too hard to maintain consistent expectations and just give up.  We are starting again....today!  Day 2 of our crazy snow/icy weather has reminded me that lack of responsibility and boredom lead to chaos, fighting and bickering!  I have one child that is too creative I hardly see her all day as she is busy creating and pretending and reading, etc.  But one child in particular has regular attacks on other members of the family and I think it is a result from his lack of feeling needed and the sense of responsibility.  We had a slumber party in the living room last night with a power outage we experienced.  So I am sitting here typing and watching my children sleep, no school again today.  We will have a family meeting again as they wake up to allow me to apologize for not being consistent, explain the importance of helping with jobs in the house and keeping their belongings in order and that we will once again begin with making our beds and taking care of some important things before we have breakfast. 

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:12-14

Meal Time

As we approach the last day of January tomorrow, I am remembering my plan to implement more responsibilities and goals for the new month.  While not perfect, most days they are getting their beds made, getting dressed and doing their Bible study before breakfast.  We seem to get a little slack on the weekends, and I have had weak days when I've allowed "one bowl of cereal, then you need to get dressed before you have more."  But I am happy to have gotten through a month of trying to make this a habit. 

We will plan on continuing what we have accomplished so far and I think the next area we are going to tackle is meal time.  We have established a plan for this in the past, but haven't stuck to it real well.  I think we will go back to the plan.  Each child has 2 main jobs for the week (table setter/clearer/meal prep helper/table washer/dish washer).  Three kids, two jobs each.  The 3 year old will get to be a helper to one of the older kids who will need to patiently train him.  We have a chart I made.  I am not good with the paper charts that have to be printed off.  They are great, I just forget to print them off and then they seem to fall down and I have all these papers - it just gets messy, and we quit.  So I have a large piece of cloth that I sewed cut pieces of laminating sheets.  I put the different job labels with pictures in the pockets.  Each kid has a certain colored clothes pin.  So whoever is the dishwasher for the week, will have that clothespin clipped to it.  Then there are little pockets sewn on the bottom to put the corresponding colored popsicle stick in.  The sticks are given out if they have done their job with a good attitude.  Sticks can be taken away for poor attitudes.  Each stick is worth 10 cents.  Once they have 10 sticks they tell me, and I write down on a pad of paper that they have earned a dollar.  This is just kept on paper until they have saved up for something and also appropriate amounts are given to savings and church.   I had troubles with allowance.  First of all getting money for not really doing much was hard for me, second of all I had a hard time always having it ready on pay day.  Now it just stays in the bank until they need to use it.  The plan was to make them save $10 before they were allowed to spend anything.  For some, that seemed like an impossible task.  We might give in and say $5.  That is still up for discussion with my husband.  Anyway, consistent meal time chores are starting Friday!  Back in business boys and girl :-)  This is so much easier said than done.  To break up peaceful play is so hard, but I need to stick to it consistently so they don't balk at me when I do ask them to help out!  Any prayers sent this way to help us become consistent in this would be greatly appreciated!  I am not entirely convinced that they need to be paid for these types of jobs.  I know I always hear kids should just know that this is part of being a family, to work and serve each other in this way.  I also want them to learn how to handle money, and to recognize that to get money requires work.  I don't know if I will ever come up with a perfect solution, but this is what we are currently doing.

Stay tuned, my next writing needs to be about the importance of work.  I've been reading about how so many problems with kids can be a result of them believing they are not needed.  They need to know that they were put on this earth serve and help others and that they are a needed member to the family.  This shouldn't be something we think they will just figure out someday.   Let's start today! 

Gummy Bears

I don't know if you've ever judged grocery carts, but I'll admit I do from time to time think to myself  "wow, that cart is full of junk!"  Well, I was walking around the store the other day afraid of grocery cart judgers!  As it was our turn to provide the Kindergarten class with snacks for the week, my cart was full of all kinds of fun things!   My grocery budget doesn't typically allow for too many prepackaged snacks, but this is what we were picking out today.  The thing that I really thought would make people wonder about me, is the 4 pound bag of Gummy Bears I had in my cart.  This was not for the Kindergarteners, but for us.  You see, I have found that sometimes it is just easier to get going in the morning when there is just a small little something you love waiting for you.  For me, I can get out of bed in the morning not only excited about the quietness of the morning, but because of warm, yummy coffee!  I decided to reward the kids with a couple of gummy bears when they complete their list of things to do, and then they get another one for saying the verse they are memorizing that week.  It is just a small little something to help reinforce good habits.  So while their teeth might decay, I pray their souls won't!

By the way, I promise not to judge your cart if I bump into you at the grocery store.   I am sure yours will be healthier than mine anyway!

Making Progress

After our first full week of implementing our plan of making beds, getting dressed and doing their Bible Study before they get breakfast I am happy to see that the two oldest have fallen into this pattern.  They have been doing a great job and I am very proud of them.  My daughter decided she does not like alarm clocks, but her brother is nice enough to wake her up after he wakes up.   I do have have a couple of children who are still struggling with this plan.  Well, one I've just decided to eliminate from this plan until he can just learn to go an entire breakfast without crying because of a wrong bowl color, wrong kind of breakfast, wrong chair available, wrong blanket positioning etc.  The other one really needs  to learn to follow along this plan.  I let him eat breakfast this morning before completing his tasks.  We did Bible study together while he ate.  He has some anger issues which are heightened when he is tired or hungry which is usually the combination he wakes up with.  He is also the one who randomly will wake up and make his bed beautifully and perfectly before this was even asked of him and come down as proud as can be.  So I am going to have a heart to heart with him this weekend and get him on board with the plan once again. 

Our other goal for this month was cleaning up after oneself.  This is still a struggle.  They are getting better, but I still often have to remind them.  I am going to work on more consistent consequences for things being left out.  So I hope we can continue to maintain and improve on these things in the coming weeks!

Grace

^"8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast."  Ephesians 2:8-9

I can get into drill sergeant mode when we are trying to instill new habits.  Do my kids know that my love is unconditional?  Do they know I love them even when they leave the cereal bowl out, when clothes are left on the floor, when the bus honks and they still haven't brushed their teeth? The Lord loves me when I've neglected to clean my heart of the sin the keeps me in close fellowship with Him.  I need to pour out this same grace and love to them. " Lord, help me to train them with the same gentle, patient love you use to train me."

Need to work on:  Attitudes!
Improvements:  Daughter has been much more eager to clear her area!

The Cereal Bowl

This is my own fault, I understand.  I am the one who has cleaned up the breakfast table after most have headed off to school.  But no more!  This is a new year!  My perfectly capable 9 year old can take a bowl of milk and dump it into a bucket (for whatever lucky animal it gets fed to outside :-) and place it in a dishwasher!  Well, she apparently is having a difficult time remembering to do this.  I told her a couple times this morning.  But there it was.  One bowl, 32 Rice Krispies that didn't get into her mouth and a few puddles of milk begging me to clean it up.  It took all my effort to leave it there.  She must learn to clean up after herself!  When we returned the maid had not been there to clean up after us (she's fired :-).  So, I told her it was her job.  A stinky bowl of milk and crusted on rice Krispies is far worse than if she had done it right away!  Baby steps....hopefully this sank in!  To her credit however, she got up, made her bed, did her Bible study without complaint for the 4th day in a row (not counting Saturday as we woke them early to take a long trip, letting the routine go for the day!)  She also organized one small area of her room today, yeah!  I am thinking I need to take some before and after pictures of that!

The Lord put something on my heart to write beyond cereal bowls, but I am going to have to wait until tomorrow to write that.

Parenting is not for the weak!

Well, this is the day I would have decided it was just too hard to be consistent with what I set out for this month.  For starters, my daughter had trouble falling asleep last night.  This morning I was tempted to let her keep sleeping a bit longer, and forgo her bed making.  But, I also remembered that moms are on duty no matter what kind of night they have had, she might as well learn that now!  My son wanted me to spoon feed him his Bible study answers this morning.  I made him find the answer himself with just a little help.  Then my biggest challenge came when a particular son came down in a horrible mood.  Grouchily declaring his hunger, pushing his Bible away, and breaking his pencil and then to top it all of he hit me after his chair had been taken by his brother!  Prayers were going up!  Thankfully, the Lord put his patience and calm over me.  After this son's discipline, and some more prayers he came back to the table and completed his Bible study (he can't read yet, so I do it with him).  As he got dressed, I prayed out loud for him with the other kids.  I ran up to check the beds, and my heart sank when I saw this same child's bed unmade.  Is is really worth it Lord?  Do I really have to follow through with this petty task?  Why is a made bed important anyway?  These were questions that were going through my head, but I knew I had to follow through.  "Who all made their beds this morning?" " Me", "Me", silence.  "Son, you can take one bite of your muffin then you need to go make it."  I hold my breath..... The Lord had softened him and he willingly went up and made it.  He was a beautiful calm child as he finished getting ready for school.  Thank you Lord!

Why Work?

I need to remind myself that the goal in teaching my kids how to work is not to have a beautifully clean house or to reduce my workload (although these are great benefits!)  But, as a parent it is my goal to instruct and teach my kids the ways of the Lord.  His Word is clear about the benefits of work and the costly consequences of laziness!  It reminds me that it is holiness, not happiness, that I am aiming for, because that is God's goal for us.  "But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all that you do; for it is written:  "Be holy, because I am holy."  I Peter 1:15-16  Yet, a life following God's path  ultimately brings true joy and peace!  So, I need to remind myself of a few Old Testament scriptures about work:

Proverbs 12:11
Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.

Proverbs 12:14
From the fruit of their lips people are filled with good things, and the work of their hands brings them reward.

Proverbs 14:23
All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Proverbs 18:9
One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.

Proverbs 21:25
The craving of a sluggard will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work

Proverbs 22:29
Saying 6 Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.

Proverbs 28:19
Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.

·  Proverbs 31:13
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

·  Proverbs 31:17
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

Ecclesiastes 3:22
So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

Wow, if I don't teach my kids how to work - there is much misery ahead for them!  

Lord, by your strength and help, may I instill the work ethic in my children that you desire!

First Day

Well the first day went fine.  That is usually how it is when we start something new.  It goes great for at least one or two days, then the resistance, the grumbling begins.  They now have an alarm clock.  It is up to them to wake up and take care of things.  However, I do have a sound sleeper.  Even Toby Mac on high was not enough to arouse him, so I may have to go to a really loud annoying buzzer for him.  I really wanted to pile more things on them, but I am really trying to start off slow this time.  Morning routine, and cleaning up after themselves.  Not huge, but important habits!!

The boys have it pretty easy in keeping their rooms clean.  They pretty much just have beds, some books and a few special toys.  Anna, however, is a different story.  She is a creative crafty collector.  That is a combination that makes for a lot of STUFF!  From beads, to fabric, to needlework, to strings, to bells, to rocks, to pieces of garbage that will be made into something creative, her room is a nightmare to organize!  The floor is currently clean.  However, under the bed, the dresser and other hiding places is much to organize.  In the past, I would go through it with her or by myself purging as much as I can, and I am still left with too much stuff.  I am going to have her take a little section at a time and come up with a plan to organize all her things.   I am going to encourage her to put anything she doesn't need right now in a box that we will put in the attic.  Whatever she doesn't use at the end of the year, we will get rid of.  (I will do that for my stuff someday too :-)

Well, we'll see what day two brings......

If man will not work, he shall not eat

I love January 1st!  It is a chance to start fresh.  A clean slate.  I've written some goals for the coming year, but one sticks out most to me right now -  increasing my children's workload!  I am reading the book-
Cleaning House:  A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement by Kay Will Wyma   It has inspired and motivated me to get back on track with making my kids do more around the house!

We were all created to work. Genesis 2:15 "The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it."  So often I find myself thinking, "it will just be quicker to do it myself", or "they are playing so well together, I hate to break that up", and then proceed to cook, set the table, etc.  I also know there will be most likely be resistance that will have to be dealt with if I ask them to help.  But I am doing them a disservice when I do things for them that they are capable of doing themselves.  They need to learn how to work and they need to know how do work diligently with a good attitude in order to be faithful servants of the Lord when they are on their own someday!  They are at the ages that they need to learn responsibility before it is too late! 

In her book, Kay has some great suggestions.  I like how she focuses on one thing each month for the year.  Sometimes I think of all the things they need to do and I dump it all on them at once.  It is too much for me to stay consistent with and it is not long that I throw in the towel.  So I am going to start like she did.  Give them something each month to focus on.  So for January, before they get breakfast they are going to have to make their bed, do their Bible study and get dressed.  There are so many other things we need to tackle, but we are going to start out the first month with this.  This will also include keeping their room picked up and picking up after themselves.  We have worked on this, just not to the point of it becoming a habit.  Their usual morning ritual is crawl out of bed, come to the kitchen table half asleep and begin complaining about what we are having for breakfast as I am serving it to them.  No, after they are ready, they can help me get breakfast on the table.  If you are great at getting your kids to help around the house - please share your tips!  If you are struggling like I am, join me!  When my son says "it's not supper time, there are no plates on the table", I know that I have done too much for them!  

"If a man will not work, he shall not eat" 2 Thess 3:10   I think this will be my motto this year!