I love how God often puts situations in our life to help us learn and grow and then finds other ways through His Word, books, speakers etc. to reemphasize what it is he wants us to learn.
This happened to me this weekend. Our son often has tantrums - as most kids do, but they just seem to drag on and on over the smallest things. We find ourselves at our whit's end trying to find a way to stop him from doing this. I am no longer strong enough to spank him, and that seemed to make him even more angry anyway - so he has to sit in time out - without throwing a fit. AHHHG!! What an amazing test of patience! So, in the midst of it, I find myself getting more and more angry. And then he hits me a few times (dad has put fear in him over this since then), but I find myself wanting to lash back in my anger either with actions or words. Thankfully, God kept me from doing this - gave me an amazing calmness, and was able to keep my cool. Again - this can only come from God - it is not our natural response!
As I was reading the Barna book today it was interesting to learn how different the parenting styles were for all of the spiritual champions. There was not a set disciplinary action they all took- only that rules were enforced and their was a consequence for rules broken. Also - the parent did not lose their cool. They had the ability to contain their anger and frustration. They got upset with their children but were able to channel their emotions into positive and productive solutions.
Do you find yourself getting angry? - well this is a normal response. What do we do with that anger? We aren't always going to be calm and collected. I can tell you of times when that calmness was not there - but the thing that shows our vulnerability and the fact that we aren't perfect is to apologize to our children when we do lose our cool. It takes humility to confess we messed up - but isn't that what we want in our kids? I can't make them say sorry to each other, if I am not willing to confess my wrong as well.
So pray for God's strength, calmness and patience. I can't begin a day without asking for this, because I know I am going to need it. And then when we do lose it - don't beat yourself up, confess to your child and reinforce your love to them.
Have a great, peaceful week :-)
Susie
3 comments:
Thank you for your inspiring thought about THIS TOPIC, many mothers will appreciate your honesty and optimism on the subject!
I was checking out Christian ACE online and I came across your blog!! I visited with you at an EROS Christmas dinner (?) about homeschooling. . .have been trying to decide if I'm sending Ainsley to public school next yr of homeschooling. Will be at the open house Fri :)
I liked your post. My daughter is very compliant, but my 3 and 1/2 yr old son is strong willed and I am constantly striving to be slow to anger with him :)
Flip-flop Mama - thanks for your comment. I saw you at the open house, but did not get a chance to talk. What did you think? Homeschooling has its challenges, but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I have really loved Christian ACE - it is great to have the acountability and support. My kids love it too. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Susie
Post a Comment