The Main Thing

Ahhhh, my favorite time of day. Kids are tucked in bed and all is quiet, finally. Crazy days, anyone relate? Something that God continues to impress upon my heart is to "keep the main thing the main thing". I can look around the house and see various "projects" my kids have created, dishes in the sink, laundry to be folded, trying to make order with one hand as I hold a baby in the other, etc., etc., and I start to have a bit of that self pity that we can allow to creep in. Then I think of the 4 blessings God has given me and all that goes with that is to be treasured - for I am reminded by parents with children grown and gone, to enjoy this time. So back to the main thing - we as parents have so many roles and responsibilities, but do you know the primary role we are given as parents? To teach our children the Word of God and to teach them to obey us so that one day they will obey their heavenly Father.

Psalm 78:4-5 "We will not hide them [God's teachings] from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done."

Deut. 6:6-7 "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

There are several other verses related to this as well as many on disciplining your children. So in the midst of a crazy day wishing someone would swoop in to take my children for just a couple hours while I regain order - I stop and remind myself what my primary goal is - to raise children who love the LORD their God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. So I ask myself - have I talked to them about God today? Have I prayed with them? Have we discussed a Bible story or read one to them? Have I kept my cool and disciplined lovingly and consistently? Have I shown them the love and grace that my Father shows me? If the house isn't in perfect order, if we aren't able to go to an event or be in an activity, etc. It's okay. I need to keep my focus on what God has deemed most important. (I do know our God is a God of order, and order is a wonderful thing to have, just not at the expense of our children's knowledge and understanding of the one true God.)

Teach them the Word!

God blessed us with Caleb Jonathan on Father's Day! He was a healthy 8lb 5oz baby boy!
I have been overwhelmed with joy in how God has created this precious little miracle inside me.
I have been reading a devotional for new mothers and was reminded once again from one of the day's reading that our children become our imitators. Now this can be a good thing, but it it also very sobering to think about how each and every word, action and deed is being watched, now by my four children. I pray that I would set an example for them each and every day for the life I would want them to live, and yet I know I fall short of this so often. For this I am thankful for God's grace and mercy and His ability to work in the lives of my children in the areas I fall short in. Our children help us to live the pure lives God calls us to live, and it helps to keep reminding myself of this as I go about my day. It has also made me realize my dependence on the Lord. My quiet times that had been carved out in the early mornings for several years has changed. I am working on carving that time out again as we are getting on a better routine, and getting more sleep etc. The days I don't cry out to God for help quickly fall apart - when I know I have asked for God's help - I feel that I can fully trust Him to follow through and give me the help, strength, patience, self-control, etc I need to be the mom He desires of me.

Valuable Traits

I just read something today that I wanted to share with you. I do not take credit for it - it came off of a BSF handout. It was so good, I wanted to share a few things from it.

It stressed the importance of knowing your child's traits - the good, the bad and the ugly. But then to not just become overwhelmed and frustrated with the bad and the ugly, but pray about how those traits might be used to become qualities that can be useful for the cause of Christ some day. For example - a child who demonstrates traits of being bossy or pushy, with being trained could be a great leader. A stubborn, obstinate child could be goal orientated. There are so many traits that I think we can get so frustrated with. But I would encourage you, as I was encouraged, to take the time to write down the traits you see in your child. And then decide how the undesirable traits could be transformed into valuable traits - with prayer and with God's help. Your diligent prayer and effort in this will be instrumental in his becoming a child of Christ-likeness.

Susie

Homework

There were some great Hands-On assignments in the 7th chapter of Revolutionary Parenting. I thought I would share them with you.

"Make a list of critical principles you want your children to adopt from Scripture. Plan how you will study the Bible together to get those principles before them."
- It takes planning and effort to make sure your children are learning the most important things in life - take the effort!

"When opportunities arise, challenge your kids to defend their position on moral truth. Be prepared to explain your position, with scriptural support."
- This could be as simple as watching something on TV or reading something in a book that does not line up with scriptural truth. Talk about it. Do they recognize it contradicts what is taught in the Bible? Look up scriptures to defend your beliefs. Get them used to looking to the Word for truth and not accepting everything they watch or read!

"Pray every morning and every evening for the salvation and spiritual maturity of your children. It's a battle for their souls. Your prayers are the ammunition. When your prayers are answered be sure to mention that to your children and to give God the credit. If you're sensitive to the working of God in your life, the examples will be plentiful and remarkable enough that you don't have to force the case.

I can't say enough how I desire this next generation to grow up knowing the truth - there is so much garbage being taught, it is easy to just go along with the flow. Our kids need to know what God teaches so that they may live a life full of blessing and not misery.

Have a great week!

Susie

Pray With and For Your Child

This is a subject I've talked about a lot. But, it seems to be something I continue to work on to be more consistent in my life. It seems that the most powerful tool we have should be used as often as possible, and yet why does it seem to be something we have a hard time keeping top priority? Well, a couple things to challenge all of us. One of the challenges in the "Revolutionary Parenting" book is to pray throughout the day with the kids; at meals, on the way to school, before sports events, at bedtime - and at any other moment of significance. Why don't we all challenge ourselves this week to make it a priority to pray as often as we can with our children, and at times you don't normally pray. Let them see how prayer can be interwoven into our lives - it doesn't have to be just at set times. The more they see us use it - the more likely they will be to retain prayer in their lives as a lifelong habit. Maybe it's just sentence prayers thanking God for the sunshine or the snow - let them see your thankfulness for the little things and the big things; the good things and the difficult things. "Give thanks to God in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:17-19 Pray together when you hear a siren - pray for the people involved. Pray together when someone gives you a prayer request. Share with them the things you are praying for, so they begin to understand all the things we can talk to God about. Anytime, anywhere - pray with them!

Also - pray for your child. I know you all do this, but if you find it hard to be consistent - stick a prayer where you get ready in the morning. You can say a pretty good prayer while you dry your hair (if you get this luxury in a particular day :), I have a list of 12 prayers for your child that I got from BSF. I have put that up in the bathroom, and have a prayer for each month of the year. You can use the prayers from the Character Training curriculum. Write your own. Be intentional and specific in your prayers. God hears and answers our prayers and it is much more evident when we are specific in our requests.

God bless all of you in your parenting efforts, I love to hear the things you are doing with your children to help them become spiritual champions - keep it up!

Love,
Susie

Meal Planning

I thought I would take a break from my usual writings I've had recently on the book "Revolutionary Parenting", and let you know of a cool resource I discovered - and it's free!

It does relate to parenting - it is meal planning. Having a meal planned is always less hectic when supper time comes. Having a meal together as a family builds relationships and offers opportunity for great conversation. So here is a free resource to help you organize your meals and plan them out and wrtie out your grocery list. Many of you do this already, but there are some helpful tools/pages to help mainstream the process - something I am always on the lookout for. So if you sign up for Molly's free newsletter "Econobusters" which helps moms work on becoming frugal and wise with their money, you get this e-book for free. I've gotten mine - however I had trouble signing up. I couldn't get past the part where you have to type the 2 words exactly as they appear. It wouldn't work for me. I just emailed her, and she responded the same day with a link to get the download. Hope you enjoy it. Have a wonderful week enjoying this spring- time weather!

Here is the link:
http://www.econobusters.com/Free-Menu-Planning-E-Book.html

Susie

Keep Your Cool

I love how God often puts situations in our life to help us learn and grow and then finds other ways through His Word, books, speakers etc. to reemphasize what it is he wants us to learn.

This happened to me this weekend. Our son often has tantrums - as most kids do, but they just seem to drag on and on over the smallest things. We find ourselves at our whit's end trying to find a way to stop him from doing this. I am no longer strong enough to spank him, and that seemed to make him even more angry anyway - so he has to sit in time out - without throwing a fit. AHHHG!! What an amazing test of patience! So, in the midst of it, I find myself getting more and more angry. And then he hits me a few times (dad has put fear in him over this since then), but I find myself wanting to lash back in my anger either with actions or words. Thankfully, God kept me from doing this - gave me an amazing calmness, and was able to keep my cool. Again - this can only come from God - it is not our natural response!

As I was reading the Barna book today it was interesting to learn how different the parenting styles were for all of the spiritual champions. There was not a set disciplinary action they all took- only that rules were enforced and their was a consequence for rules broken. Also - the parent did not lose their cool. They had the ability to contain their anger and frustration. They got upset with their children but were able to channel their emotions into positive and productive solutions.

Do you find yourself getting angry? - well this is a normal response. What do we do with that anger? We aren't always going to be calm and collected. I can tell you of times when that calmness was not there - but the thing that shows our vulnerability and the fact that we aren't perfect is to apologize to our children when we do lose our cool. It takes humility to confess we messed up - but isn't that what we want in our kids? I can't make them say sorry to each other, if I am not willing to confess my wrong as well.

So pray for God's strength, calmness and patience. I can't begin a day without asking for this, because I know I am going to need it. And then when we do lose it - don't beat yourself up, confess to your child and reinforce your love to them.

Have a great, peaceful week :-)

Susie

Encouragement

Here are some things I read this week that I found encouraging that I hope will encourage you as well.

These are words from a young adult who had "revolutionary parents". "As I look at the lives of my childhood friends, the ones I envied because they had so much freedom when we were growing up, their lives are now a mess. I'm not perfect, but I think I understand life a lot better and have a better foundation for life. Now I have all the appreciation in the world for the tough stands my parents took to keep me in check. Kids can't handle too much freedom; they're children! I thank God regularly that my parents put up with all the whining and complaining from me and my brothers and sisters but did not give in. They held their ground, and I think the results of their efforts are a real blessing to God and the community."

Most likely we will not be thanked for the hard work we are doing as parents while in the midst of their growing up years. It is important to realize the "ultimate results of our child-rearing efforts will not be known for years." We don't have to be their best friend right now. It is our job to raise them to love and honor God - to obey us so that in turn they will obey God. Not an easy task, but it is our calling. That is why we need each other - encouraging each other on this assignment! There will be many days they will not like us. I have been told quite often lately that I must not like this particular child because of the consequences she faces and she often threatens to run away. I love hearing from someone that has grown up with "revolutionary parents" and can now thank them for the type of upbringing they provided. I have more ambition to put up with the "whining and complaining" and I hope you do too!

Love,
Susie

First Things First

I will continue to give you excerpts from Revolutionary Parenting. Here are some quotes and research that I thought were good.

"Parenting cannot be Revolutionary if it adopts the core assumptions and practices of the prevailing culture. Our research found that parents are more likely to raise spiritual champions if they accept the fact that from day one their parenting efforts will stray from the norm and will put them at odds with parents who are pursuing a more conventional approach. Revolutionary Parents are more likely to:
Be single-income households
Schedule a much greater amount of time to spend with their children each day
Intentionally identify their children as their main earthly focus in life during their
parenting years" (I am assuming this means marriage as their #1 priority
with children as #2)

Research also showed that "raising a spiritual champion is best accomplished by having at least one parent in the home who is fully committed to honoring God through his or her parenting practices." I thought this was good for those that may have a spouse that isn't fully committed - that you still can raise a spiritual champion if at least one of you is committed to being obedient to Christ - but think what could be done with two fully committed parents!

These families had family conversations that bring biblical views into their shared lives and efforts to regularly engage in faith activities (Bible study, worship, prayer) that model the integration of faith into their lives. These parents stressed the importance of reading the Bible together and discussing faith principles as a normal part of the decision making process. This is rare even among "Christian" America, and yet vital in raising a spiritual champion.

Hands on:
1. Examine your real priorities in life - those demonstrated by your calender, checkbook and emotions. What stands in the way of making your children a top priority in your life?

2. How comfortable is your family spending time together, several times a week, exploring God's Word, sharing openly during prayer sessions, and engaging in conversations that relate your faith principles to your critical life choices? What could you do to make faith a more natural centerpiece of such discussions and activities?

3. If your children were asked to honestly assess your personal commitment to growing deeper in your faith, what kind of rating would they give? How satisfied are you with your personal investment in growing spiritually? What might you do to foster a more fulfilling spiritual journey?

Some great questions to ponder. #2 was especially convicting for me. We talk about the Bible, and discuss Bible stories, but we still are not consistent in actually reading the Bible out loud with them and discussing it with them. This is something I really want to implement in our family. I have read so much about families that have really benefited from this. So this is what I will be working on this week. How about you?

Susie

My next several posts will be in reference to a book I am reading - "Revolutionary Parenting" by George Barna. I am really excited about this as it is a book based on research. They interviewed parents of "spiritual champions" - "an irrepressible follower of Jesus Christ who accepts the Bible as truth, lives by its principles, and seeks ways to impact the world and continually deepen his or her relationship with God." They found out what these parents did to raise children like this and they also interviewed the grown children to find out what they feel most impacted them to become a spiritual champion. I will be sharing with you what I learn!

One of the most important things to keep in mind that I read in the book is the fact that our job is "not to succeed (in raising a spiritual champion), but to be obedient to God's calling and principles and allow Him to produce the outcomes according to His perfect will." So we do the best job we possibly can, but the ultimate result is up to God.

"Your impact on your children's lives is proportional to the depth of the relationship you have fostered with them. This implies devoting substantial amounts of time to building your relationship with your child." "Once you have created a true relationship with them, they will be more open to your guidance, even when it seems counter intuitive, exceedingly difficult, or out of step with cultural norms." I would love to have the primary influence on my children, yet this is only possible if I have built that relationship.

At the end of each chapter it gives you some work to do. I plan on taking this very seriously and so I took some 3x5 cards to write down my answers and plan to review them often. I will share these with you and encourage you to also take part in this!

1. "Think about the relationship you have with each of your children. Write down three things you will commit to do during the next thirty days that will improve your relationship with them."

- with three going on four children it takes effort to make sure you spend adequate time with each child, making them each feel special. One night a week my daughter gets to stay up late with me. Sometimes I dread this, because that is "my time", but I have decided to make sure to do something special with her on those nights and not just think of it as "giving up my time". I am building an important relationship with her. With the other two I plan to make sure that I am spending time with each one individually - my older son loves games, so I plan to play Trouble, Candy Land or whatever the game of the day is. And my youngest, try reading to just him before his nap and try to play with him and not just try to keep him busy so I can do "my" work.

2. "Consider the lessons your children learn from watching you. Write down three things that you will change in your behavior during the next 30 days in order to have a more positive and biblical influence on the lives of your children."

-write them down - I did!

3. "PRAY that God will give you the personal resources to make the changes you have written down - and that those transitions will enhance your ability to raise your children to be spiritual champions."

What is more important than prayer?

This is a journey - a difficult one without a guaranteed outcome, but please join me as we try to be obedient to God's call on our life!

Love,
Susie

I'm back

Please accept my apologies for not fulfilling my commitment to encourage and challenge all of you each week!

I don't want to make excuses, because I really do not want to neglect what God has called me to do, so I will just briefly explain my last couple of months so you know that I have not completely forgotten all of you!

This fall to put our house up for sale so we would be in a position to do what God wanted us to do and not have to worry about a house to sell. Well, shortly after all the projects began we found out we were expecting #4! We were very excited (and still are). I was able to get a lot done before getting sick, but then I got very sick. It was very difficult to keep the house clean and ready for showings. God wonderfully answered this prayer by allowing our house to sell in 2 weeks. While being sick my quiet times really suffered. It is in those precious times with God that I am filled with words to share with all of you. Since my time with Him was suffering, I really did not feel like I had much to offer all of you. I am now getting through that part. I am finally starting to feel really good again, we have moved, and our house is finally cleaned, settled, and for the most part organized. Plus the most important thing is that I am getting back on track with my time with God. So I am excited to once again share with you each week what it is God is placing on my heart so that together we can raise Godly children!

My poor children these last couple months. I really feel like I have neglected them - mom is either resting on the couch or busy cleaning/packing etc. However, I was able to read lots of books, play many games of Candy Land while lying next to my Candy Land finatic son. I have to realize the little things are important. Maybe they haven't been completely neglected, but I am looking forward to spending more time with them, feeling better and most importantly getting back to discussing God's Word together.

Procrastination - does anyone else suffer from this? My least favorite job in all the world is cleaning out the refrigerator. Do I really think that if it hasn't been touched in a week, those leftovers are going to get eaten? If I would just take the old stuff out on a regular basis - my refrigerator cleaning would not take half a day. I heard a message yesterday - "do the important things first". Something I've heard many times before, but it really hit me. Many days I have intentions to getting through our Bible story for the day with the kids, but it doesn't get done, and I keep thinking we will get to it later. Well, I've learned personally and for my family if I don't put God first, it is hard to fit Him in. I really want to make it a priority that after breakfast (because my kids want to eat first thing), that this is what we do. So if you've been suffering from procrastination and want to get back on track with teaching your kids God's Word - join me in doing it first!

Love to all of you!

Susie